The Idiot by any other name

Little Monkey - Always ready for Mischief

Little Monkey – Always ready for Mischief

Why the Idiot? You decide.

Little Monkey’s idea of fun is to race at top speed across the field towards her selected target; some small unsuspecting dog. When she is about ten metres away she swings round in a large arc, going Wuff Wuff Wuff. Passing by the surprised victims with a good five metres to spare, she carries on in her circle, cantering back to me with a self-satisfied swagger, saying, “I’ve seen them off for you!”

I’ve found that bellowing at her as she hares off across the field to mock-charge another little fluff ball has no effect on her what-so-ever. Rather, it unnerves the old guy, already nervous for his dog and himself. My only option is to throw the lead at her. This seldom works; she is so fast, I am so slow, the lead is soft and floppy, and, yes I’ll admit it – I throw like a girl!

My best bet is to call after the rapidly disappearing dog, in a light sing-song voice, “Nobody said you could go play! – It isn’t your ball! – You silly billy!” or words to that effect.

One old man, that Little Monkey had mock-charged, said, “My dog is barely a mouthful!!” indicating his little Maltese.

Having tried various responses such as: “Sorry – Little Monkey doesn’t know how to play – She wasn’t socialised as a puppy – This is how she plays” etc  I’ve found that the best strategy is simply to walk up to the owner and his dog and diffuse the situation by saying with a friendly smile, “Sorry. She’s an Idiot, but she’s harmless.”

To which, the old man replied, “So am I!”

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