How to – with Little Monkey. No 2. Chase Squirrels

There are two methods, depending on whether you are at home, or running around the forest.

Method One: At home. Lie in absolute stillness on the stoep. Watch the happy little squirrel as it checks the coast is clear, before cautiously descending face first from the Eugenia tree. Hold your breath as you watch it dart from place to place on the lawn, scratching here and there.

When a person walks past you, suddenly leap into the air barking (great for giving them a heart attack!) and hare at top speed after the squirrel. Dance along the wall yipping as the squirrel disappears next door for a little more peace and quiet.

Method Two: In the forest. Race madly from side to side, dashing full speed straight at any perceived “little grey animal” movement. Scramble up the tree trunk as far as you can, then springboard off it with a double back spin and land on all fours.

Stay under the 40 foot pine tree, dancing and prancing about in the hope that the little grey animal will run back down the trunk and into your open mouth. All the time make the most annoying, high pitched yipping sound, most unlike your usual low bark. Eventually give up, andΒ pronking like a springbok through the undergrowth, look for more easily accessible furry fluff balls to chase.

At some point, realise that Mum and Mr Spaghetti Legs are far away on their more sedate walk, and that, reluctantly, you’d better catch up. Hey wait! There’s another moving grey thing. Tally Ho!

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