I had some banking to do this morning, which I had been putting off, because, let’s face it – who really wants to spend any time at all in the bank?
Things have changed a lot at our banks lately. There used to be the double-door closed system, where you waited for the green light, all the while hoping you were not stuck in there for eternity. Now, there is no security at all, as you wander in through revolving doors, or worse, a large open space. The bank may think this makes it all pally pally, but what I see is an open invitation to bank robbers wielding AK-47’s to come right on in and spray me full of holes!
The first thing that greets you is the Information Desk; only now it is the Hello Desk. This is weird. South African’s rarely actually say “hello”. What they usually say is “Hi.” No – not like that! Start as if you are going to say Haa, then make it into Haaiii and you’ll approximate the SA accent!
I laugh because you are saying it out loud and your workmates wonder if you have finally lost it!
So, I join the queue for Enquiries; only it isn’t called that any more. Now it is the Service Bar! Oooh, methinks, things are looking up. At this point the guy in front of me turns round in boredom to see how many people are behind him, and I tell him my thought. But before I do, I suss up his general disposition; since it is a well known fact that most people leave their sense of humour at the door when they enter a bank. He looks OK, so I say to him, “I’ve just noticed it says Service Bar over there.” Point in direction. As he sees it I add, “I think I’ll have a vodka!”
He laughs (I judged right) but then we are left in that awkward situation of having shared a bit of a laugh, and now being stuck in the queue for who knows how long, without much else to talk about.
Fortunately, his turn comes soon, and mine soon after. All business transacted, I decide I need a reward; I have survived the bank!! So I treat myself to a latte and cookie at the local Seattle coffee shop.
And if you have to ask why there is a large bite out of the cookie, I can only assume you are a man!