Mr Spaghetti Legs is pretty old and oh so slow on our walks. He ambles along and has to stop every few steps to spend five minutes sniffing something interesting. It takes a very long time just to go round the block.
This has been good for Little Monkey in a way, since slowing the walk right down has had a calming effect on her. But she also needs to have a good fast walk now and then. So I took her on her own the other day, and we strode at speed round the neighbourhood. She soon got into the zone and trotted along happily, very relaxed and with her ears back. My plan when we got home, was to fetch Mr SL and all three of us go on a shorter slow walk.
However, when I released LM in the driveway after our first walk, she dived straight for something lying on the ground. It looked like a large old tennis ball at first. On closer inspection I saw it was food of some kind. Ah ah! You’re not eating that my girl! I’m not getting up at 3 am to let you out cos you have a sore tummy!
LM does not bite – ever. It is perhaps her one redeeming feature. So, I have no qualms in removing the food from her mouth – but she obviously has other ideas!
First I try the “Drop it!” approach.
“You must be kidding, Mum!”
OK, then we go to the prising it from your tightly clenched jaws, keeping fingers away from massive teeth. Eventually I manage to pull the object out of her locked jaws. It looks like a bread roll, that has been nibbled by ants on the outside, but is rock hard solid. No idea what it is. I throw it outside the security gate, and head inside for SL.
I’ve only gone two steps when I hear LM. I turn to see she has squished her head under the bottom few inches of the railings and is reaching for the food ball. Before I can stop her, she’s got it, but now her head is stuck!
There she is with her bum in the air, and her face sideways on under the metal bar emitting lots of high-pitched squealing. I just stand there. She got herself into this, she can get herself out of it. All she has to do is let go of the food!
Of course I would help her if she really was stuck!
One final tug and LM frees herself. Now we are back to square one, and battling for possession of the disgusting food ball. This time, as I prise it from her resisting jaws, the food ball breaks up. It is yellow inside, and more the consistency of cake or biscuit than bread. Who knows what this is and who threw it in my property?
OK, so I will get it piece by piece if I have to! And I do – or as much of it as I can, as it rapidly disintegrates into crumbs. I throw the bits well outside the gate.
Panting from exertion, I wipe my hands on the grass, and head inside, as LM quickly hoovers up all remaining evidence.
I am far too cross by now to go on a second walk, so I just let SL out in the front to potter round for a while.
As for me – vodka on the rocks it is!