Tag Archives: Humour

Sunday Musings #189

OK, so you’re 10 years old, you have a laptop, iPod, Facebook and a Blackberry . . Dude when I was ten I only had one thing to play with – it was called “OUTSIDE.”

– Unknown

 

Yeah, Yeah, I know. There will always be the Generation Gap.

Still, I think that my childhood was a lot healthier than today’s kids will have.

 

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I Wish I’d Been . . .

Dandelion Clock

 

I Wish I’d Been

 

I wish I’d been taller, thinner, stronger

Popular, athletic, younger

.

I wish I’d been blonde, blue-eyed, prettier

Amusing, charming, wittier

.

I wish I’d been able to breathe with ease

Able to run with the breeze

.

I wish I’d been able to see like the rest

Able to stand the test

.

I wish I’d been kinder, calmer, wiser

Had a patient adviser

.

I wish I’d fit in with the crowd

Not always felt bowed

.

I wish I’d been taught not to mind

The bully with back up behind

.

I wish I’d been told it’s all right you know

Able to let things go

.

I wish I’d been  .  .  .

.

 

Never mind.

In the immortal words of Popeye

“I yam what I yam!”

 

Sunday Musings #188

I love the sound you make when you shut up.

– Unknown

 

OK I’ll be the first to admit that I have sensitive hearing, but still, some people are very loud and never stop talking. We all know one!

Noise pollution has increased over the years, along with all other pollution. (In Cape Town the air is often bad and we rely on the Cape Doctor (our strong winds) to blow it away.)

All day long I hear loud cars and motorbikes on the freeway; and jumbo jets, which even though they are high up by the time they pass our house, are still loud!

When the neighbours have their garden service around, we have hours of very loud noise from the petrol mowers and weedeaters (strimmers). Typically this will happen when I have a friend round and we are sitting out under the trees in the garden. You cannot hear yourself think, let alone speak!

But go back a few hundred years and while it may have been quieter, I am sure it smelled a lot worse!

 

Sparky on my Stoep

Sparky on my Stoep 1

Haiku 140

Hopping round my stoep

My very own little pet

Dancing for peanuts

.

Several times a day Sparky the squirrel hops around our stoep, peeping through the glass door and waiting expectantly for a few nuts.

Sparky on my Stoep 2

I thought he was a greedy little thing, popping by so often, till I realised that there was more than one Sparky, when I happened to see two at the same time! One definitely looks fatter; and one has a straggly tail.

Sparky on my Stoep 3

The fat one sometimes sits on top of the stone rabbit, waiting for his food. He takes the nut and eats it on the stoep. The thinner one always runs far away to eat his.

All of them eat a few and bury a few for the lean times.

Still, I think that each does come by more than once a day. I should put little coloured collars on them so I can tell them apart!

Then I ought to get tiny little identity discs with their name and my telephone number, and then . . . .

 

Sunday Musings #187

Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes . . . and no friends.

– Jim Gaffigan

 

Some years ago I had gone 10 pin bowling with my kids, my Mum and my brother and his family. We had a great time and lots of fun.

As we were leaving I noticed a man arriving, carrying a heavy sports bag over his shoulder.

In a momentary lull in the general background noise (of course) I said in a clear voice for all to hear, “Look at that guy. He’s got his own balls!”

The moment I said it I realised what I’d said and packed out laughing.

What can I say? I have a gift!

 

Sunday Musings #186

That fail moment when you pull your blankets up and punch yourself in the face.

Unknown

 

Haha Happens to me quite a lot!

I suspect that most of my readers don’t need blankets at the moment, as you experience summer heatwaves up in the North!

But down here in South Africa it is still winter; granted not like your winters; but still cold enough at night to warrant a blanket or two!